Five years ago, I made a decision that changed my life forever—I got sober. It was the hardest and most rewarding journey I have ever taken. This past year, I decided to mark that milestone in the most meaningful way possible: by getting married on my five-year sober anniversary. The decision to share my wedding anniversary and sober anniversary on the same day was not just symbolic—it was a deeply intentional act that solidified my commitment to both my partner and my recovery.
As my old sponsor used to say: Anything you put in front of your recovery can be taken away. Those words have stuck with me through the years, and they have become a guiding principle in my life. By aligning these two significant milestones, I’m reminded daily that without my sobriety, I wouldn’t have the love, trust, and stability I now share with my spouse.
Choosing the Same Day: A Testament to Priorities
When my partner and I started discussing wedding dates, the idea of having it on my sober anniversary felt like a natural choice. Some people might have found it odd, even overwhelming, but to us, it made perfect sense. My recovery is the foundation upon which I built my new life, and my relationship is one of the most beautiful outcomes of that journey. By choosing this date, I was making a powerful statement: my sobriety is not just a part of my life—it is my life, and it enables everything else I hold dear.
This decision also served as a reminder that my recovery is non-negotiable. Just as I vowed to stand by my partner in love and partnership, I was also reaffirming my vow to myself—to continue walking the path of sobriety no matter what life throws my way. Having both anniversaries on the same day ensures that I will never take my recovery for granted, just as I will never take my marriage for granted.
How Sobriety Strengthened Our Relationship
One of the greatest blessings of my recovery has been the ability to show up fully in my relationship. In the past, when I was drinking and using, my relationships were riddled with dishonesty, emotional unavailability, and self-destruction. I was not capable of being a true partner to anyone, let alone to myself.
Sobriety changed all of that. Through the process of working the steps, therapy, and ongoing commitment to personal growth, I learned how to communicate, how to be present, and how to love in a way that is healthy and fulfilling. My partner has never known me as the person I used to be. They met me when I was already sober, but they have heard the stories. They have seen my struggles and supported me through moments of doubt. They have celebrated my victories and reminded me why I chose this life in the first place.
For anyone struggling to find hope in recovery, know that the life you are building will be richer than you can imagine. Love and connection are possible, but they require work—both in sobriety and in relationships. If you or someone you love is seeking help, resources like finding local treatment centers can provide a starting point for recovery.
The Role of My Partner in My Sobriety
Though my sobriety is my responsibility, I cannot overstate how much my partner has supported me in my journey. They have never judged my past, nor have they coddled me in my struggles. Instead, they have held space for me to grow, to heal, and to become the best version of myself.
One of the things I love most about our relationship is the honesty we share. My partner knows that my sobriety must always come first. They know that if I ever falter, my program and my recovery community are my lifeline. And they support that completely. Our relationship is built on trust, and trust is something that my sobriety made possible.
They also remind me to take care of my mental health. Sobriety is about so much more than just not drinking or using—it’s about addressing the underlying issues that led me there in the first place. Finding the right mental health support can make all the difference in long-term recovery, and I am grateful to have access to resources like mental health facilities that provide continued guidance and support.
Marking the Anniversary: A New Tradition
Every year, I celebrate my sober anniversary with reflection and gratitude. This year, adding a wedding anniversary to that tradition made it even more meaningful. We chose to mark the day with close friends and family—many of whom have walked with me through the highs and lows of recovery.
Instead of a champagne toast, we raised glasses of sparkling water and coffee. Instead of a wild party, we created a space of love, laughter, and appreciation. Our vows weren’t just about promising to love and support one another—they were also about acknowledging the life we are building together, one that is grounded in mutual respect, honesty, and growth.
A Lifetime Commitment to Both
Marriage and sobriety share a lot in common. Both require commitment, patience, and continuous effort. Both are filled with moments of pure joy and moments that challenge you to your core. But most importantly, both are worth fighting for.
As I look ahead to the years to come, I know that neither my marriage nor my sobriety will be perfect. There will be days of struggle and days of celebration. But what I do know is this: as long as I continue to put my recovery first, everything else will fall into place. The love I share with my partner is built on a foundation of honesty, resilience, and hope—the very same principles that have kept me sober for the past five years.
If I could give one piece of advice to anyone in early recovery, it would be this: build a life that you don’t want to escape from. Build relationships that uplift you. Celebrate every milestone, no matter how small. And never forget that your recovery is the foundation upon which everything else is built. Because anything you put in front of your recovery can be taken away. But when you honor your sobriety, you gain everything.
For those seeking help or guidance, there are incredible resources available to start your journey. Whether it’s taking the first step towards treatment or finding the right support system, you are not alone.
Here’s to love, to recovery, and to a future filled with both.
